In the age of computers and Internet websites the world of dating has changed extremely. Even in my lifetime I would never had thought that I can turn on my computer and get matched up with 30 women all within my area. What has happened is that we have condensed the whole dating scene into a consumer based process with discounts and coupons to the local eateries. To me that is sad. While the convenience factor is there and in the time of high gas prices as an economist and financier I can see the cost cutting importance but do women really want to meet a guy through a website? Are our own personal sensibilities so fragile that we cannot handle the thought of rejection? One might that that is the case but to be honest in the end it is a fad and not some freaking "E-Harmony" commercial. Like my father says about online job websites "have you really met anyone that got a job online?" As for myself, no not yet anyway. But there are exceptions to the rules and some guys swear by these websites but I think it is because it is an easier way for them to pick up women.
So back to the original point. How to ask a women out? I can tell you from years of both being rejected and accepted it is a tough world. Women I believe are a lot more complicate (explained in Chapter 1) and they are to be honest the new "Bachelor's" on the block. The women of today are more goal oriented and savvy. Definitely not like the women of old. They can easily talk on the cell phone, drive, put make-up on take the kid's to school and conference in on a business call all at the same time. The women of today I hate to admit it are somewhat, and the words are too hard to type, much like those girls in "Sex and the City" without all of that excessive glamor. But fortunately for us there is one undeniable fact women, when you cut through all of that fast paced life style, are still wanting a man to come up to them and speak to them and ask them out. In fact, in my experience they respect a man more for taking a chance rather than using the safety and security of the Internet dating sites.
Now does that mean you go right up to some random woman and say "will you go out with me?" No, that is not the way to go. You will unfortunately have to nip away at them little by little. These are my suggestions:
- 1. Women like a man that is confident. I had a buddy of mine, literally one of the ugliest guys I know, and he would some how meet all of these women. To this day I still cannot believe it. But the one thing he told me was that women like a guy who is confident. Someone that is comfortable with who he is. If he is fat, short, muscular or whatever body type the fact is that if you feel comfortable with yourself then they will feel comfortable with you. It is like they have an intuition about you.
- Example point- Guys have you ever noticed that when you are single and have not met a girl in a while the girls seem to stay away. It is like you can't find a date even if you paid someone. But if you are in a relationship or even dating around you seem to be more attractive? Why is that you may ask? I am not going to bore you with some Freudian theory but in my opinion it is the sense of confidence that attract women to you. The way you carry yourself. It is like you don't care if a women likes you or not and for some reason that's what gets them going the most.
- 2. When you see a girl and you find them attractive don't just go right up to them and start slobbering all over them like a 2 year old puppy that is ready to mate. Women hate that! You have to give them some space. Remember the "space bubble" is not a myth it is real. Look for the signs does she notice you? Is there eye contact and if there is it prolonged or just like what the hell is that guy looking at? If it is prolonged then that is a good sign and you may be able to start making your way over. My dad always said "beware of the second look" but in this case if they have looked you over several times and you have caught each others eye then "Houston we have contact."
- 3. Now once you have started the conversation don't be all like "hey what's your name?" and then crickets you have to think of a few more things to say than that. I can't tell you what to say because if that were the case then the challenge of the situation is wasted and that is what is the coolest part of it all the challenge to get past the first few common questions. You can tell if they are interested if they reciprocate the Q&A. Warning: It is important at this point you remember everything that they tell you because if you don't it will come back to haunt you. Women like a man who is easy to talk to and remembers basic stuff like their name!! I have messed up on that a few times and lost a couple of opportunities, man I was stupid!!
- 4. Finally, you have made contact. You may have been able to get a number off them and if you didn't no problem you still have made good progress. Because the next time you see them around you will remember "their name!!" and some of the things they had told you earlier. That impresses them as well as makes you look good too. Guys, the saying is the "first impression is a lasting impression" for women that is true 100% of the time. I have to say it again 100% of the time. At this point things will be looking up and you may be able to get a number, if you have not earlier, and also maybe even a date. Warning: If she does accept it take it with stride do not start the fist pumping until she is well and gone!
- 5. If she refused then no problem just keep your cool because she could be testing you and you don't want to burn bridges. She may accept the next time. If she doesn't then move on. The trick is don't hound them. If they want to see you they will. If all of these examples have failed then start back over, get on that horse again and go back to step one and do it again. The important thing is that you have to take each rejection and acceptance as a lesson learned and more notably that you had enough balls to go through it all. Even if she did not like you the first time she will still respect that fact that you took a chance. Most women let you down kind of easy and if they don't no worries you did not need her anyway.
Final thought- Listen fellas I know you have heard this saying "there are plenty fish in the sea" and this is a scientifically proven fact that there are more women then men on this earth so the chances of meeting someone that will like you are increase exponentially. So no worries there is always mail order brides..hahah