Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Chapter 4- How to take Criticism from a Woman

This is a touchie subject for both men and women. Because naturally we become defensive anytime our ideas or feelings are being questioned by either a co-worker or someone that we care about.
So the question would be how can we take criticism from a loved one without looking like an a**hole?
It is tough I know I have had to come to grips with this over and over again. Women, let's face it, are expressive some would say overly opinionated but for men we just feel that they are bitching at us. So when it comes to criticism of something we usually do not separate good criticism from bitching we just put it all in the same "junk folder."
Now that we have isolated the issue let me try to bring some scope on the conversation. Guys when a woman tries to tell you something and you find yourself becoming irate my best suggestion in this case is not necessarily plead your case right there. The best thing to do is to "bite thy tongue."
I know that you are reading this and saying "what be a punk and back down!?" Oh no no contraire monfraire. I think you should look at this as an opportunity to plan out the next stage of the battle scene. It will be hard to understand this but woman are, honestly, 5 steps ahead of us in thought. For them to express anything they have already broken down the thought process and in most cases analyzed what to say. So gentlemen, we have to play their game "when in Rome."
Example story- I was dating a girl that for the most part was very congenial never really blew up too much and said her mind when she needed to, like most women. The only difference is when she criticised me she really knew where to hit the nerve and of course my natural male instincts took over and I was defensive and started biting back. Of course, at this point the argument became heated and I, as a manly man, would not back down. I kept at it until she seemed to stop talking about it and moved on. This is where they get us boys. This argument is now stored in the "internal argument hard drive" and will be accessed at her nearest convenience usually at a time when it is most inconvenient to you. So to make a long story short I was out with some friends almost 8 months after the fact and we were all having dinner together when out of the blue, I was not certain it was a key word that sparked the conversation, but she started up again. Now most guys in this situation would have forgotten about this but "NOOO" she never did. They never do and once again we were on that same road I has thought was detoured 8 months ago. (Mind you not all women are like this. But we have had our share that are)
So I am sure you are saying "damn that is a crazy girl" but fellas we have all been there. The best thing to do is nip in the bud as early as possible so here is a list of things you must do in order to handle a situation where you are being criticized:
  1. 1. When being criticized "listen" (refer to chapter 1). You may not like what they have to say but I can promise you more so or not they have thought about this situation before and really need to get it out of their systems.
  2. 2. Like an interview keep good eye contact and at least acknowledge what they are saying. (Hint: if the T.V. is on or your playing games the best thing to do is put it away for a bit, at least until they are done).
  3. 3. Finally, remember what was said and after the conversation let the chess match begin. Don't try to get too many points in right there but slowly interject them over time even if you have to wait a few days. What is more important that we get our points off right away, piss off our loved one's and then no cuddle time at night so we can feel more like a man at that moment or we behave much like the lioness on the hunt move in slow and methodically for the final kill point and in the end we still get our cuddle time as well as our point across.
Final thought- Gentlemen this is a "Mission Impossible" if you choose to accept it you of course will not only be able to get your points out in every critical argument you have with your loved one but also you will impress them with the fact that you take what they say to heart and you can take what they dish out like a man!! As the bible says "pride cometh before the fall."

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