For those of whom are a bit squeamish about sex as a topic then you should probably skip this part. But for those wanting to forge on I hope to give some insight on a common yet generally taboo subject of when to approach the sex subject in a relationship?
Now this is not a religious blog and I am quite aware of God's teachings on the subject so I do not need any reminder from those on the sidelines about "abstinence and its importance." I am just posting the obvious and what is going on in real time.
First, boys will be boys and the once quietly spoken sex talks in the sacred men's locker rooms in high school's across America have now found their way into every facet of American culture and life. Now mind you I am not saying go out and get laid at every possible moment, far from it.My thoughts on the subject are based on my experiences and my own personal beliefs so if what I say helps you great if not then it will make for an interesting read.
Sex is for the most a very sensitive subject no matter the dynamic of the relationship either it be your in a long term relationship or just meeting someone and your are attracted to them. The subject of sex is really hard to swallow (no pun intended). For the purposes of this section I will discuss the introduction of sex for new relationships.
I have broken down the subject matter into several groups these are virgins, experienced and night club girls.
- 1. Virgins- This one is tricky guys because honestly you and I both know when it is our first time it really is not much to gawk at but for a woman it is everything. Once they give themselves to you emotionally and physically that is it and cannot be taken back. Damn, talk about pressure. So then you wonder do we ever get to that part in our relationship? To be honest, you may not but it does not mean you dump the girl because she won't give it up. You have to understand what is at stake here and it is a lot of responsibility. If you have invested yourself into a relationship where a woman has made it clear that she is a virgin then you my friend are going to have to do a lot of soul searching. You must decide at that point is it worth the wait? If it is then do we not do anything sexually at all? To answer this I can say you will have to be patient and let her decide what is right and how far she is willing to go. That is what really stinks. This is where the boys get off at the station and then men stay on for the rest of the ride. You have to look at all of the factors and become selfless not selfish.
- 2. Experienced- Now finding women that are virgins today is like a needle in the hay stack. But obviously that is a rare and wonderful thing that they have chosen to wait. But for the rest of the flock they may have a few blemishes on them. Does that mean they are dirty and terrible for crossing that threshold? Hell no! But it does mean that some of that pressure is off, but only a little. Guys you must look at this very carefully. Just because she is not a virgin anymore does not mean they are heartless and emotionally unattached. They are just as delicate and innocent as the next and need the same amount of patience required for dealing with every aspect of a woman. Once you get involved with them sexually you are still bound to a point that you are now officially a couple. So how do you get to that point. Well, there is no real trade secret, although many men boast, the basic idea is that you have to show a woman that you are interested in her and that sex is actually the last thing that you want, even though they know we want it. If they are attracted to us and want to go further believe me they will let you know. You just have to know when to read the signs. Some of these signs maybe a lot of physical touching and eye contact, laughing at almost everything you say, wanting to hang out more, and in some cases they will ask you out. Now how do you react to all this? Confidence is key my friends not cockiness. You have to take the invite graciously without looking like you knew it was coming. At that point you will know and after that first kiss you will definitely know! Women in most cases while kissing you will give you tale tell signs of how far they want it at that point. My suggestion is do not try for it after the first kiss. Guys take your time it will happen and it will be worth the wait besides women, despite what porno's try to portray, are not just ready to go right there. It takes time and a lot of investment to show that you care and she is worth the wait.
- 3. Night Club Girls- Now these girls have gotten a bad rap. But unfortunately it is justifiably so. If you go to a night club to meet a girl I would say 7 time out of 10 you will probably end up together at the end of the night. Why is that? Well, guys know this and girls do too. It is a preconceived notion that when they are going out it is to have a good time and that is generally getting a little hammered and meeting a new guy. So ladies if you are reading this the cat is out of the bag and every guy knows why you are there because we are there for the same thing. So sex is usually more easily discussed in these situations rather than any other time because inhibitions are lowered. (Side note: Most of these relationships that I have seen or experienced that are started in night clubs have a very low shelf life. If you are not one of those couples and have lasted a long time then congratulations you proved me wrong now go sit down).
Final thought- Sex is not what you see on movies, porno's or some freaking "The Hills" episode. It should be taken with great care, consideration and again responsibility. You should definitely read all the warnings on the labels and check for expiration dates because you could not only hurt some one else but also yourself.